“But What Do You Mean?” Women and Men in Conversation (2nd part)

Unlike women, men like discussions that involve fighting or when their ideas are being challenged. Because most of the time this is not a woman’s characteristic, they are seemed as weak and not able to attack back. What women need to learn is that they need to get tough sometimes. Tannen’s essay shows that when they learn how to get tough and how to argue, they are more accepted by their men colleagues, probably because that shows having something in common. In addition, when it comes to praising, men tend to lack the ability to recognize the good performance of someone. Women like to give recognition as well as to be recognized. When they do not receive any kind of praise for their performance, they believe they are being unappreciated. Furthermore, men and women also differ in the way they complain, when men hear complains they are most likely to try to fix the problem while women just tend to talk about it. Finally, the types of humor women and men like to use are different. Men like razzing and teasing. Women like self-mocking. Even though women feel more comfortable joking with their female friends, they feel out of place when joking with men. Women have learned that when they joke as men they are taken more seriously.

I believe that most of the differences between men and women are due to gender (the behaviors and attitudes that a society considers proper for its males and females; masculinity and femininity) because society and its environment has taught them to act this way. I also agree with most of the point Tanner makes. As I was reading, agreed when she stated that giving “thank-yous” and “apologies” is jus a woman’s speech style. Sometimes women expect the other person to reciprocate but if the person is a male, it is most likely that it would not happen. I believe it is true because I have been through a similar situation. For instance, when I text message or e-mail my friends I enjoy getting responses back. Most of the time female friends just write thank you, but male friends never write back. Finally, I believe that the seven aspects given in the essay place women in disadvantage over men, a term called glass ceiling (the most invisible barrier that keeps women from advancing to the top levels at work), because our society expects competitiveness and toughness and most of the time that is a man’s characteristic.